So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We were destined to go to rehab together
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
