I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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