Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
