I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize