Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
