Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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