i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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