I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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