That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
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Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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