Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
