how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
