i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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