I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
