She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
