i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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