I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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