I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
