I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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