I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
