I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
