just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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