We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
