The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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