so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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