are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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