just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
