3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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