Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
