Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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