Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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