a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
