I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
