What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize