you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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