Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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