bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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