I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
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She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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