and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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