so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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