i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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