IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
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5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
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You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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