I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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