Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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