happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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