yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
