I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The best revenge is premature balding
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
