you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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