I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
