Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
