is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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