Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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