but the lizard people decide everything anyway
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
