she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize